Coffee Shop Etiquette 101

One of the best places to kill time is a coffee shop, an Internet surfing, coffee drinking, book reading, time killer. I'd like to add to the list, "People Watching" or in this case, "Space Crashing."

The other day I stopped in at a local coffee shop in Corona. We all know one thing, people are odd, but the extent of it really depends on the group of oddballs surrounding them or even the individual environment. Alright, movin' right along here... this dramatic lady walks in, Guamanian-Esq type of gal. I say she's dramatic only because although her actions were normal they were VERY exaggerated and distracting. She keeps talking to everyone in the coffee shop by talking to herself with little comments like, "Ohhh I need ice I need ice... or giggling out loud as if someone made a joke, yet, no joke, no blue tooth" or "ohhhh what am I doing?" All of which are accompanied by a big sigh.

She orders a small hot coffee and a cup of ice, returns to her table and pours everything together to mix her own iced coffee. Anyhow, in the next five minutes she hair sprayed her hair, asked the waitress for a brown paper bag and then climbed across her chair on all fours to stretch out to get the bag off the counter, she starts rearranging all the tables and chairs around her, but she was standing over it and observing as if someone would observe their own living room before rearranging it. Then at one point she swings the arm chair that is facing my table - set up and takes it to her table.

(note: see how some tables have only arm chairs and some just have regular chairs?)

Of course I jerk my head up to look at what has suddenly caught my attention. She pauses and stares at me... puts her fist in front of her mouth and says while sucking in air through her teeth that are exposed and clenched,

"Ooh.. can I???"

--"Oh yeah go ahead no problem."

I scan the room to see if anyone else is looking at her sideways. But of course there never is.

I move the other chair to give her room to rotate the big arm chair. So she swings it around and finally starts doing her coffee shop thing. I'm thinking to myself, "What happened to the chair borrowing etiquette of asking, "Are you using this chair?" Even though I'm clearly not... give me a heads up you know? Don't man handle my set up. Two minutes later... she leaves.


About five minutes after she leaves another lady comes in. She is Teresa Morris-Esq., but if you don't know Teresa -Gentle face, fair skin, light brown hair pulled back into a pony tail. -- OKAY... so this girl puts all her stuff down at the same table the previous girl was at, but swings the arm chair BACK to my table WITH her things on it...

"?????" okay...?

She rummages through her purse... buys her beverage and comes back. So, asking without asking, I scoot my books over to give her room on my table so that she might say, "oh, no no, don't worry about it." Which would tell me she's not going to sit there, or, "Thanks." Which then confirms that she is indeed sharing this table with me... out of all the empty tables and chairs in the entire coffee shop. She doesn't say a thing. So she pulls out her laptop, sets up her chairs... and plops down.. right in front of me, sharing my table.

I didn't want to be rude and keep looking at her since then I'd be saying, "WTF are u doing?" Because, really.. I didn't care, but once again, what happened to the etiquette of asking, So that at least I can get a heads up??????

Anyhow, she gets up and leaves... I look at the table in the corner that she pulled the arm chair away from, to see if it had a plug so that maybe I can justify this bizarre day of mine a little... but no justification is found since there was an outlet right on that wall as close as can be.

Scratch all that, maybe not even asking for permission, but a simple, "Hi" as they're crashing my space would suffice.

I just don't know.

Hilllllarioussss though.